[spo­ken]
The world to­day is ab­solute­ly cracked.
With nu­clear bombs to blow us all sky high.
There’s fools and id­iots sit­ting on the trig­ger.
It’s de­press­ing, and it’s sense­less, and that’s why . . .

[singing]
I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
They on­ly come up to you knees,
Yet they’re al­ways friend­ly and they’re ready to to please.

I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
There’s nine hun­dred mil­lion of them in the world to­day,
You’d bet­ter learn to like them, that’s what I say.

I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
They come from a long way over­seas,
But they’re cute, and they’re cud­dly, and they’re ready to please.

I like chi­nese food,
The wait­ers nev­er are rude,
Think the many things they’ve done to im­press,
There’s mao­ism, tao­ism, eg­ing and chess.

I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
I like their tiny lit­tle trees,
Their zen, their ping‐​pong, their ying and yang‐​eze.

I like chi­nese thought,
The wis­dom that Con­fu­sious taught,
If Dar­win is any­thing to shout about,
The chi­nese will sur­vive us all with­out any doubt.

So, I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
They on­ly come up to you knees,
Yet they’re wise, and they’re wit­ty, and they’re ready to please

Wo, I chum­ba run,
Wo, I chum­ba run,
Wo, I chum­ba run,
Ne ham­ma, Ne ham­ma, Ne ham­ma chi chen.

I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
They’re food is guar­an­teed to please,
A four­teen, a sev­en, a nine and li‐​chese

I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
I like their tiny lit­tle trees,
Their zen, their ping‐​pong, their yin and yang‐​eze

I like chi­nese,
I like chi­nese,
[fade out . . .]