Je­sus. How blest are the sor­row­ful, for they shall find con­so­la­tion. How blest are those of gen­tle spir­it. They shall have the earth for their pos­ses­sion. How blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right pre­vail. They shall be sat­is­fied . . .

[Cam­era pulls back to the back of the mul­ti­tude]

Mandy. Speak up!

Bri­an. Mum! Sh!

M. Well, I can’t hear a thing! Let’s go to the ston­ing.

Big Nose. Sh!

B. You can go to a ston­ing any time.

M. Oh, come on Bri­an!

BN. Will you be qui­et?

Wife. Don’t pick your nose.

BN. I wasn’t pick­ing my nose . . . I was scratch­ing.

W. You were pick­ing it while you were talk­ing to that la­dy.

BN. I wasn’t.

W. Leave it alone . . . give it a rest . . .

Mr. Cheeky. Do you mind . . . I can’t hear a word he’s say­ing.

W. Don’t you “do you mind” me . . . I’m talk­ing to my hus­band.

C. Well go and talk to him some­where else! I can’t hear a bloody thing!

BN. Don’t you swear at my wife.

C. I was on­ly ask­ing her to shut up so we can hear what he’s say­ing, big nose.

W. Don’t you call my hus­band “big nose.”

C. Well, he has got a big nose.

[Cul­tured jew turns around . . .]

Gre­go­ry. Could you be qui­et, please? [to Mr. Cheeky] What was that?

C. I don’t know . . . I was too busy talk­ing to big nose.

Man. I think it was “Blessed are the Cheese­mak­ers.”

Mrs. Gre­go­ry.  What’s so spe­cial about the cheese­mak­ers?

G. It’s not meant to be tak­en lit­er­al­ly. Ob­vi­ous­ly it refers to any man­u­fac­tur­ers of dairy prod­ucts.

C. [to Big Nose] See⁠—​if you hadn’t been go­ing on, you’d have heard that, Big Nose.

BN. Hey, if you say that once more, I’ll smash your fuck­ing face in.

C. Bet­ter keep lis­ten­ing . . . might be a bit about “Blessed are the big noses.”

B. Oh lay off him.

C. [round­ing on Bri­an] You’re not so bad your­self, Conk­face. Where are you two from? Nose City?

BN. Lis­ten! I said one more time . . . mate and I’ll take you to the fuck­ing clean­ers.

W. Lan­guage! And don’t pick your nose!

BN. I wasn’t goint to pick my nose. I was go­ing to thump him.

An­oth­er Per­son. I think it was “Blessed are the Greek.”

G.the Greek?

AP. Ap­par­ent­ly he’s go­ing to in­her­it the earth.

G. Did any­one catch his name?

BN. I’ll thump him if he calls me Big Nose again.

C. Oh shut up, Big Nose.

BN. Oooh! Right I warned you . . . I re­al­ly will slug you so hard . . .

W. Oh it’s the Meek . . . Blessed are the meek! That’s nice, I’m glad they’re get­ting some­thing ’cos they have a hell of a time.

C. Lis­ten . . . I’m on­ly telling the truth . . . you have got a very big nose.

BN. [try­ing to con­trol him­self] Your nose is go­ing to be three foot wide across your face when I’m fin­ished with you.

C. Who hit yours then? Go­liath’s big broth­er?

BN. Oooh . . . oohh . . . aargh . . . ah [supreme self con­trol] That’s your last warn­ing . . .

Mrs. Gre­go­ry. Oh do pipe d⁠—​

[Big Nose punch­es Mrs. Gre­go­ry, and a gen­er­al scuf­fle breaks out]

BN. Sil­ly bitch, get­ting in the way.

M. Bri­an! Come on, let’s go to the ston­ing.

B. Al­right.