[Mr. Berten­shaw and his sick wife ar­rive at a hos­pi­tal.]

Doc­tor. Mr. Berten­shaw?

Mr. B. Me, Doc­tor.

Doc­tor. No, me doc­tor, you Mr. Berten­shaw.

Mr. B. My wife, doc­tor . . .

Doc­tor. No, your wife pa­tient.

Sis­ter. Come with me, please.

Mr. B. Me, Sis­ter?

Doc­tor. No, she Sis­ter, me doc­tor, you Mr. Berten­shaw.

Nurse. Dr. Wal­ters?

Doc­tor. Me, nurse . . . You Mr. Berten­shaw, she Sis­ter, you doc­tor.

Sis­ter. No, doc­tor.

Doc­tor. No doc­tor: call am­bu­lance, keep warm.

Nurse. Drink, doc­tor?

Doc­tor. Drink doc­tor, eat Sis­ter, cook Mr. Berten­shaw, nurse me!

Nurse. You, doc­tor?

Doc­tor.me doc­tor!! You Mr. Berten­shaw. She Sis­ter!

Mr. B. But my wife, nurse . . .

Doc­tor. Your wife not nurse. She nurse, your wife pa­tient. Be pa­tient, she nurse your wife. Me doc­tor, you tent, you tree, you Tarzan, me Jane, you Trent, you Tril­lo . . . me doc­tor!

Sergeant‐​Ma­jor. Stop this, stop this. What a sil­ly way to car­ry on. What do you want?

Cus­tomer. I wish to reg­is­ter a com­plaint.

Sergeant‐​Ma­jor. Well, this is a hos­pi­tal. You want the pet shop in the next file . . .